This last week has been a roller coaster here in the US. Heck the last 18 months of the presidential campaign have been insane. I’m having a hard time processing all my emotions, all the stories, news articles, and opinions being thrown in my direction. Which is why I’ve been quiet here until I could write something that I hope will be helpful if you are feeling some of the same things.
This has been an eye opening experience for me in so many ways. My world has been shifted. The thing is though that the uncertainty and vulnerability I’ve been feeling about this forced change is not exclusive to the election. It’s something that happens all the time in our lives. The question is how do we deal with it? Every perceived setback is an opportunity to learn about our world and ourselves. So here is what I am learning from this election and how I’m coping with uncertainty.
Feel what you feel but don’t let it control you.
So let me be real about my feelings for a minute, I cried when I found out who won. Which was almost as shocking to me as the result was. I mean I am not normally that in touch with politics and while I always vote, NEVER have I had a physical reaction to an outcome. Now, I know about myself that when I am really passionate about something I can have a hard time seeing anything other than my perspective until I have had time to work through my feelings about it.
So I sat with my emotions for a bit. I tried not to post anything on social media until I had a better handle on what exactly I was feeling. Which was really hard at times. I was angry, sad, and scared. Then I’d go on Facebook and feel even more intense things when I saw what people were posting. I wanted to let some of these emotions out on them! How dare they say that, how do they not understand?! BUT I’ve learned from past experience that I am not going to do anything helpful and am more likely to do damage when i am in that state of mind.
Instead I talked to friends and family who were feeling the same things. We raged or cried or shook our heads in disbelief together. With each time I spoke about what i was feeling, I started to understand the what and why i felt each emotion. As I calmed down, I was much more ready to talk and see things rationally. It’s not that I didn’t still feel those emotions but they weren’t controlling me. I was back in control of myself.
“It’s not that I didn’t still feel those emotions but they weren’t controlling me. I was back in control of myself.”
There are 2 sides to every vote & we need to start listening.
While I was excited for all the political commercials to finally be over, I was not quite prepared for the social media backlash or the horrendous acts that would follow.
These horrendous acts being committed all over the US are despicable. We all need to stand up against this kind of violence and intolerance no matter who you voted for. It’s sad to realize how far we have yet to go when it comes to racism, sexism, and religious tolerance here. Part of my emotions from the election are a deep sadness in that realization and for the people who are dealing with these acts each day.
You know what else is not okay? Now that the election is over, we the people, are the ones tearing each other down. Listen, you can’t label everyone who voted one way or another as one thing. Yes, there are extremes who are those things but they are not everyone in a particular group. and tearing down our neighbors and friends isn’t going to help. I have friends, family and neighbors who voted differently than I did. While I disagree with their choice, they are still my family. They are still my friends. They are still my neighbors. We can respectfully agree to disagree and we can start having real conversations about how we want this country to move forward. Conversations where we both contribute and listen to the other side.
We need to start listening to hear not listening to respond. A friend and I who voted differently had a great and enlightening discussion today about politics. We both listened to each other to try to understand the others point of view and we ended the conversation even better friends. She opened my eyes up to another perspective and we found that while we voted differently our hopes for the future aren’t really that different. We just have different views on how to get there. When you start having real conversations from the place of curiosity and really listening, you may be surprise what you find out.
We the people are the change. We are the ones who will make it happen.
Look, yes, I am worried about our future and what could happen but here is something I know is true. It’s not the president who is going to make the real changes we want to see in our lives happen. It’s us making choices every day that are going to lead to a brighter future. It’s in how we treat people from our bosses to the the homeless guy on the corner. It’s teaching our children how to respect themselves and others. It’s reminding them through our example how to win AND LOSE respectfully. It’s picking ourselves up again after a loss and showing the world how we can get back in the arena.
For me getting back in the arena means channeling these emotions to get involved and get more informed. I’ve been passive in politics for a long time but now I need to get down to business. I need to understand not only about the next presidential candidates but my local representatives too. They are after all the ones representing me. I also need to be vocal when it’s needed and fight for what I believe. If that means going to town hall meetings then so be it. If that means peacefully protesting then so be it. We can make a difference from the bottom up. It does seem daunting to me at times but it’s important and the change starts at home.
I know there is a lot of uncertainty about where we are heading as a nation but at the end of the day folks, it’s not us and them. We are the people. WE ARE US. We are still us and there is still hope. There is still kindness. There is still love and we need more of those things to be put out in this world.
So I’m going to keep processing my emotions, keep learning about how I deal with uncertainty and channel it all into putting more good out into the world. It is my last name after all! There is a fire burning now in all of us and if we channel it for change, peace, and love we will be amazed at how we can change this world regardless of who is our president.
Be the change you want to see in the world.