There is nothing like vacation for a little self awareness. We just got back from a wonderful week away at the beach. It was super relaxing but different this year with a 5 month old in tow. Some babies like to nap on the beach, ours did not. So Tom and I took turns taking her inside for naps. Luckily we rented a place right on the beach so it wasn’t too far of a walk. My parents were along too and they helped us out a ton! They love spoiling our girl and we even got a vacation date night!
Now my guy is pretty amazing and knows how much I love relaxing on the beach so he volunteered to take the lions share of taking our girl in for naps. At first, I felt really guilty about it and the whole time i was reading on the beach, I was worrying about him up in the condo. I didn’t want him to resent me being on the beach when he had to sit and read on the porch while our girl napped. Plus, I wanted him to enjoy our vacation too! We were both in need of some serious relaxation time.
So I asked him how he felt about it and told him about how I was feeling. He told me not to feel guilty, he really was relaxing reading on the porch. It got him out of the sun a bit (He burns easy.) and he wasn’t resentful at all. He wanted me to get some beach time since he knows how much I love it. He was enjoying listening to the waves right there on the porch. He also said that instead of us both being stressed on the beach trying to get her to nap, he figured it was better to take her in so we could both relax while she napped. (I am a lucky girl to have this guy by my side!)
The whole thing was a great reminder to the check the stories we are telling ourselves. I was telling myself a story about him being resentful and not enjoying vacation which was making me not enjoy the time he was trying to give me. When the reality was totally different!
In the end, we both enjoyed our time so much more because we talked and we both felt even more connected. We were on the same page and were both able to relax!
Next time you are worrying, stressing, making up things in your head, take a minute to question the story you are telling yourself.
What are you feeling?
Why are you feeling this way?
Is it true?
What facts do you have to back up its truth?
If another person is involved, can you talk to them about your feelings?
You will probably be surprised and will definitely learn something about yourself or someone else. It does take courage to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable and admit the story you’re telling yourself but it will be so worth it in the end!